Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Everything about him screamed your future.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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