i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
