my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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