ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
