Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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