I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My ass is underappreciated
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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