I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
