i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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