why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
