The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
