Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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