So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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