Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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