Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
