i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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