yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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