once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just invented taco cereal.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
