guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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