i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
