i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i drank out of a bidet.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
