im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
