I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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