Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
