Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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