No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
