She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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