I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
