dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
