Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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