New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize