He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
