she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
