clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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