READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
