I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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