just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
