He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
