im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
