You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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