Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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