I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Panties = found
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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