You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so that wasnt chicken after all
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
