so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
