just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
