HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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