Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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