Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
