is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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