just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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