Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
