I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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