I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
