Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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