sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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