Betty ford says i'm here all night
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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