I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
