ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
