Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I faked an abortion last night.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
