no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
