well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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