Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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