You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize