They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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