Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize