office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
